3rd days of y1s2

3rd days of y1s2 already. this two school days do u feel happy? yesterday have wonderful day wit some good friends. there are ryan, calo, ka yeng, pek ngah and shee ping. v go to have supper at new lei yen restaurant. rainy day v go to eat ABC. haha...

yesterday come across new subject. Intro to Japanese, what do u feel? i feel scare. is it feels same wit JAVA 1st time? although its new things like JAVA but i wont repeat the same incidents again. confirm? sure. hehe... thats good boy. b4 the class commence, i noticed one man stand in front of the stage. he is another "senior" that i miss de but i pretend not to c him.

i noe this is bad but wat to do? he gots alot of students, what for i want to "disturb" him???

pj small trip

just came bk from pj small trip. this time purposely go there one. cheat my parents said that im go bk to kampar already, actually was at pj. haha... so naughty!!! cheat parents but what to do? they all dislike hst. treat hst like ajaran sesat. sorry. but wat to do? if tell them strictly, they sure will get hurt. is very hurt. so better hide from them.

thanks to rehani, pick me to bus station though its raining. for sure she will as got $ mar. arrive at kl 6.30pm something, this time is not chee yeong brother fetch me. is jaron, this buddy. he seems very free. first time, he picks me to huo shi tuan from paramount. hehe... this guy is still like last time but quite happy also as he willing to play wit me. haha... he tells me hst will move at friday. quite sad when i hear that. arrive huo shi tuan, v go to eat at ss2. forget wat name that shop already but quite grand. eat vegetarian food. quite happy at that moment as c them chat happily. the participant is alice and her roommate, chai nin, xiao wen, jaron and me.

when i reached hst, i only realised got two more person stay at there. got志祥及 eng kian. finally jaron got teman already, eng kian brother is nice guy. he can friend wit jaron and chee yeong brother de. haha... this guy is quite funny. he is under sk, actually he quite similar wit me de. scare programming but he manages to go thru. nice to meet him. chat wit him until dawn. walao, 3am something only rest but quite happy also as really hard can find ppl to chat wit until so late so late.

then tmw lazy wake up to pray. sorry. hehe... morning i only can meet wit chee yeong brother. he is busy. haha... then wait jaron wakes up, v eat at sentosa. quite sorry to eng kian and志祥。i promise to eng kian that go to bookfest together de but i go wit jaron only. sorry. hehe... jaron this guy thinking got abit weird. he hates increase population of mankind. he loves earth very much. this guy dont like development... haha... but v got common point is self-satisfy. v think that mankind should satisfy with they have now...

KLCC is very big leh. this time v go bookfest at klcc. v went to one-utama, mid valley, the gardens before. this time go klcc. v meet wit marcus at the entrance. quite shocked when met him, thanks to jaron got good eye-sight can c sk. hug wit him when met him. then v go bookfest can c alot of books. i really need to c it de, read long long time. its only rm2 entrance fees but i dont have time. i buy ticket go back to kampar at 3pm de. so no choice, then go bk. v got chance to meet wit many ppl hua sheng bro, xiu ling siseter. hehe... so good.

then when v arrive, meet sk at the lobby. happy... hope that he can talks wit me more but lack of time. on the way back to house, meet wit chee yeong bro. can return $ to him. he wants to c my scar. he so concerned about my sickness. hehe... thanks to him. then another words is when he noe i will go bk soon, he says at least want to eat wit me one meal. walao... so touched at that time.

jaron offers himself to pick me to lrt station, he quite happy that i said ll go to hst this coming friday and always mention to sk and chee yeong. hehe... this brother is very good le. when sk noes, he also wants to pick me de but jaron refuse it. sad, want to talk something to sk secretly de but nvmla. can meet soon. when ride motorbike, give sk a deep hug. sk shoulder is very broad, very warm. good bye, sk. this guy really want me to read USM. he says i sure can enter. haha... give confidence to me, thanks. though not chat much to u but i noe u are very concern me de.

jaron brother, thanks for everything. hehe... really tq. good bye. wah, when ride lrt, chee yeong brother sms me and wish me "yi lu shun feng, bro.." touched but i wont cry de as i noe will meet very soon.

finally reach kampar, today eat dinner with xavier. quite happy to meet him. this guy is my junior. hehe...

this semester start tmw. i muar change all my bad habbits. as this guy, eric send message to me. {Eric:[: 你很喜欢听别人意见的是吗 好那就告诉你 我没生气你因为你更本没价值让我去为你生气 生气你这是在浪费我的时间 我不回你信息是因为我真的不懂你人怎么搞的很难沟通 我真的很懒去理睬你 你还是回到你的世界吧 不必找我也别烦我 看了这reply后不必回我 我有自己事烦 没空睬你 不是我嫌你像小孩 只是你这人真的很有问题 很难沟通}

i wull changed de. mr.eric, i really hope i wont lost u. carl, u must change ur attitude ar.

today my y1s1 result out already

today my result out already. cant get good result... nvm, this semester is lazy. i wont let lazy beat me again! ok? carl? work hard. u got alot of friend support u de. justin, averse, evonne, vannessa, cp ... work hard ar... lets work together. gambateh!

nothing to say already???

nothing to say already? yup, nothing. this holiday pass it wit meaningless. haha... this world is grey for me... how grey ar? haha... u deserve for it de. haha... hmm... this holiday actually not so bad. just go to operation, get out the plate from humerus, so that next coming semester break got time to work. during this semester break, i got time to meet wit old friend. quite frequent. so why u said is meaningless? dont know. just speak it out. haha...

hmm... carl, dont too depend at somebody already. u must depend to urself ar. those eric, sk... is just ppl who appear in ur life for one moment. soon, they all will leave u de. dont too stick wit them. u will lost them anytime de. so no need always ask them ur opinion...

poor? i admit it

Wat should I write? Today feel myself very poor yet I do not admit this. Parents talk so clear to me, I born to be materialistic one. hehe... how to say? just feel i do not admit that i was born from poor family.

local uni again?

what should i choose leh? just now the USM officer calls me. she asks me to send the important document to them again. this time is what leh? can get to USM? god, u want to trick me? i scare to get in. if they offer, i will face difficulty on choosing the uni. both also offer same course. mass communication. haih... but utar i read one semester already. if i go to usm, i will graduate late again.

btw, now is not confirm i can get in local uni. c how then...

today same question + orchestra

today same question ask me again. wher do u study recently? why dont go local uni? y quit that school? haiyoo, u are so...... after listen those enquiry for sure i will sad one. regret? sure regret one but now regret also no use already. carl, come on. opstimic! u sure can get in to next local uni intake one. haha...

regarding to the orchestra, i noe u really want to c before the semester commence but cannot ar. u must accept it one. if u really want to c it, u can c it alone de. remember u are no longer child already. entertainment can find urself one. ok? dont always ask ppl when.... dont force him already. got feeling want to ignore that guy after watch friendster list. seems got alot of friend around. exgal friend still put at the list. dont watch wit him also can de right? must watch wit him de meh? if cant watch wit him will die de meh? hehe... watch alone or find others friend la. ignore him and wish him la.

another things is msn. when can u fully anti it?

come bk from operation, feel so warm.

just came bk from operation yesterday. thanks to ppl who concern me. really thanks. this operation caused me remembered back when last time i do my operation. get analgesik that feeling is how? feeling want to dizzy is how one? haha...

this operation got some sweet and warm moment want to share at here. those concerned sms is so warmth. the call from my brother is so touched. thanks for another birthday present from mr. lum kai yi who present me crystal but he doesnt bring back from uum. so cannot c it now. haha...

another warm things i really want to write here is this VIP, eric comes bk play wit me. haha... so happy when meet him. this guy brings me to eat ice-cream. mcD ice-cream not cone one is cup one. walao... so expensive! haha... quite happy at that moment. he noes i cant use my right hand to hold the cup, he grap it for me during i take the ice-cream out. walao... i really want to appreaciate and say tq deeply to ppl who made out chocolate. so sweet and warm when taste it. now i only noe this guy is 瓜子脸 one. haha... after argue wit him last time, he still forgives me and make friend wit me. so high EQ. eric, wish u can achieve watever things u desired to. haha... after taste the ice-cream, v go so many places. go to ipoh garden east, go to 冬菇亭. go to many ipoh many food places. haha... this time i plan to watch film with him one but he refuse to. then nvmlo. this guy wants to work at s'pore. get his latest desired already. haha... he likes to work at modern world such as japan, england, turki... not like me want to work at slow step country such as new zealand, europe.

come on, eric. paris tower is amazing one. dont step on it. though is made it out "besi" but it very tough one. haha... can catch what he use to watch at cinema. he use to watch those inspective and action film. this also not same wit me who love comedy and romance movie. tears movie is good! i dont know why he doesnt like it. haha... i hope next week can watch orchestra wit this VIP la. this guy is so mean to me. haha... come on, audience. dont make me wrong ar. our relationship is not those u all think of ar. haha... if i were gals, for sure i will court him de but im guys. only can make brother wit him lo. hahaha...

then another VIP, sk is quite geng also. though he at kl, but he wish to come here to visit me if he no need to work at saturday. walao, this sentences when he speaks out is so touch. haha... his sms is so cheerful. hehe...

another VIP mr.ryan, this guy treat me really like kids. hahaha... later will go out to eat ice-cream to all the guys and gals that i long time no meet with. so, enjoy later.

last sentences, thanks to evonne, poh wah, grace, tracy, elly and all who sms me la. those are gals. thanks to jaron, chee yeong, averse, jeffrey, ching kei bro... thank you to everybody.

admit to hospital

tmw admit to hospital, feel what? of course will feel scare de la...

thanks to evonne, averse and justin

今天真的很高兴，高兴到要写中文。与其说高兴倒不如说温馨比较恰当。觉得上天对小弟蛮好的了，做么要这么说呢？离开马大之后，觉得世界是黑暗的，灰的…所以就一直地伤心，难过….上了utar之后觉得人有了目标，比以前开朗很多。回想起离开马大四个月多的期间真的很难捱，像行尸走肉酱。
虽然离开了马大的同学及学长姐们，不过在utar认识了一班真的很不错的朋友。老天真的对小弟很好很好了，我失去了某些东西，它补回一些东西给我。Utar有什么很不错的朋友呢？就由女生说起啦，她-evonne. 真的很谢谢她，在小弟上个星期情绪超低落的时候安慰我，无时无刻都msn我，鼓励我。carl .. in tis world .. many ppl have their own sad and tough story. wanna happy always .. just depends how to c through and how u treat it. anyway .. i hope u can be strong .. i can be ... sure u can too .. ganbateh !! if u reli wanna to change .. i will there to help u. but proved to me tat u reli wanna to change .. nt just say say. if nt .. i will very dissappointed on u .. just change ur view toward those sadness. then automatically u can be strong. treat it as motivation. proved to those tat critic and blaMe u tat u are the best, proved to them .. they are wrong. get it ? opstimic is my slogan Leh. i oredi give u .. hope u appreciate it. i wont said the 2nd tiMe le. u r guy .. shud be more strong d. i hope tis is the last tiMe u told me about those sad thing de. i hope once day if u faced probLem .. u wil tell me " evonne , i m sad .. but dun worry .. is not a big deal " u gt study ? un becoz of sad .. then no heart study

当时看到真的很感动的，眼眶湿了。酱的朋友哪里找？小弟真的很荣幸跟她同一班。

男生有-averse, justin.他们两位是PR班里很帅的帅哥。两位大小弟四天八天。前者还刚刚训完我一顿，半夜在msn上骂我呢。不过小弟真的做错事情，很糟！弄生气他！对不起！以后跟人沟通时尽量不用猜这个technique，用问因为我时常猜错。因为我没存他骂我的档案，所以不能秀出来。后者呢就是谢谢他的生日礼物，这位帅哥跟他不是很熟，不过可以感觉到他是一位很男人，以后一定会与他跟好。他与evonne送礼物给我。在此跟你们说那个香水真的很香，很适合我。
Averse也有送叻。今天收到。GASTSBY LONG-KEEP WAX SPRAY.哇，真的很高兴。他还跟我说迟来的礼物。这位仁兄他很有心，我才刚认识了他们四个月就出手这么重了。

P/S : 小弟不是为了收到礼物才这么说的。现实中他们真的很好，每一位都有值得学习的地方。例如，他们的自信，他们的沟通技巧……现在可以变成型男了，有香水，deodorant让接近我的人不会觉得我有异味。有WAX SPRAY可以塑照发型。谢谢你们。真的很感谢你们。明年的10/2，14/4，18/4。小弟知道会怎么办的啦……

averse teach me some good things already. thank you.

today i learn new things from averse brother already. he teaches me one very important things. Tat is "do not guess people mind and put into own opinion". this lesson really teach me something.

however, it remain some controvesy here. if v dont guess in certain circumstances that what will happen next, then some crisis might occur. however, i also agree what averse has been said, if v simply guess people thinking and put into own opinion. many bad effect will occurred such as just now i cause him very mad twice. here i take advantage to say sorrry to him, 真的很对不起。请接受小弟的抱歉。

too many guessing at my life until now. i noe its hard to get rid of this behaviour but i must try my best. last time i always guess why this good friend dont play wit me. (he or she doesnt like me already? why he like that one? do i do something wrong?) actually i should guess so much de, the most easy is to ask him and trust what he or she say to u.

Bsides not to guess, believe or trust is also important. last time i do not trust my friend and always suspect that they are not friend wit me, this is wrong. indeed!

advise from many ppl

Just now read thru the history that ryan, eric and sk gives me. I feel very sad when scroll down the conversation history. I noe their intention is correct de but it causes me very sad and lonely. What should I do now? I don’t know.

Eric, seems like what I have plan to do in order to achieve mature its wrong de. “什么啦叫我看你的部落格什么什么啦！老实说我觉得统统都是废话连篇！” what should I response him? I write blog is just another way to express my feeling. Why u do not get what I mean? Fine, I plan 等我真的长大了，就去烦您, as I think not meet him for sometime might let me to plan what can I do to address this problems, he reply me 我很肯定你永远都长不到! 一个人成长不成长是别人给你的形容,不是因为为了得到别人所谓的这种称赞而虚伪的去做只因为了一种肯定一种别人无聊的肯定。成熟是否不是表面的,是发自内心的。是一种由心而发的成长,不是去跟从所谓的社会固定形式的成熟论而去做。你成长是因为你自己不是为别人,为了让自己进步。If u purpose is want me to judge u again when v meet i can straight away tell u d! u r failed again! Yup, I always behave wrongly in front of u. I’m failure, failure indeed when I friend wit u. I born to be fail one.

He says really sad to c u like that! i din said u r failure or look dw on u. I never think that at all. Fine, stop the conversation, don’t kacau me. c all ur mistakes come out d, always like that. thats all la, dont make friend wit failure la. ok! as u like! but u still my frenz! i din said u'r not my frenz! Ok! Do whatever u like! but please rmb what i told u the last listen anot is up to u! i treat u as my frenz i only said so if other i wont fuck them off at all!!! 一个人成长不成长是别人给你的形容不是因为为了得到别人所谓的这种称赞而虚伪的去做只因为了一种肯定一种别人无聊的肯定。成熟是否不是表面的是发自内心的。是一种由心而发的成长不是去跟从所谓的社会固定形式的成熟论而去做。你成长是因为你自己不是为别人为了让自己进步

Now what should I do now? I lost contact with him already. Really don’t want to see him for long period then find ways to become mature? When think I’m mature then only go to find him? I don’t know need how long to do that. How long don’t meet him? Half year? Two years? Really don’t know. I seems like lose him already.

Ryan, he says: ”your relationship, your temper, your character. all of tis is it sum way u do some miztake n tat y u cant get d real fren n some time ppl dun like u. ppl dun like talk 2 u. ppl dun like play 2 u n dun date u even hv sum activity b coz your internal nt strong enough. b coz your temper, your attitude. when u dun like somthing all u put in front of your face n sometime ppl ask u sumthing u do like dun noe n your conversation nt strong enough n sometime b come 'alone". walk alone, dun wan mix wif your fren. When play in crazy. u not crazy enough. Not crazy when play games.”

Sk, I don’t want to hide this guy anymore. Last time when I friend wit him, he can sense that I tend to hide something. He can sense that my anger easily express on my face. His response is almost same as eric. I always promise him to become mature but just talk only.

Parents become stop those advise already especially my mothers. Always say im failure. Leave that school is the most terrible things im do. What should i do now? Instead of always listen to those things repeatly, why bother to go bk? next semester do not go bk so often, ok? sure.