redo my assignment???

just now really shocked. my heart stop pumping already when i see the post post by tim. the content is quite the same. got the similarity. this time my tears rolled at the eye, feel very nervous and scare. god, i work quite hard at this assignment. pls! pls! let me get thru. thanks to shu wen, she helps me check. though the answer given by her is not clear but i also want to thanks her. i msn to leader,daniel. he doesnt reply me. i mean he doesnt give the reply instantly. thanks shu wen. u r my good fren. i will cherish our frenship since u treat me not bad de. pass the quiz to me, thanks alot. really thanks alot.

coursemates around me wher i can lean on become less and less. i got jojo, siaw yin, eunice's group, li ping, phay theng only. others i cant depend so much. y u said like that? not close enough to share my homework wit them. haha... thats why, cheahow poor relationship, 人缘差. just now daniel reply me, he says first come first serve. i know but daniel, tats why v send topics to u. let u c our topics whether is good anot. haiz... he causes me feel want to cry... this time really feel sad and helpless. do i need to read the articles again? well, i dont know. let god decide for me. inside our both content, i found out really not same. mine one focus on studies, the course. whereas, tim's assignment focus on the discrimination.

cheahow, 就算跌到了又有什么关系呢？再站起来就好了。跌倒时顺便看一看天空，浩然的蓝空又在微笑着。from<一公升的眼泪>

god, pls kill me.

thanks to janice... is eunice. thanks. i quite admire her. i mean she always look very top. i mean high confidence. always look no problem. maybe she is reading my blog now. hey, gal. im not purposely to praise u ya. haha... thanks for ur advise. life simplier. happy is the most important. else i will stray. yup, u r very accurate.

soon will go bk to uni. wat is ur feel chea how? well, i think i really will die once i step into uni. it seems my preparation for the assignment not yet prepare enough. haha... all the assignment come together... god, pls kill me.

busy holiday...

this time i really died. i got alot of work to do. really faint lo. i hope this holiday i got time to cope some of them. mana tau, till now cant settle. i got many assignment to do. first time i feel helpless suddenly.

suddenly get know of the quiz how come change date ady? or i so stupid, lack of alertness? haiz... thanks to jasmine and lih ying post at the facebook. else, i get zero marks ady. thanks to both of them complain the heavy work load at the fb there. thanks...

later got to start to work hard ady. T-T... advertising assignment, literature review and permasalahan kajian, two accountings quiz, pnwang essay tat post at the internet......... i dont want ar.....

bore...

Bore... Really bore. Gather wit last time secondary school fren, dalmit n krishnan. Long time no c them. I tot they ll talk sth nutritious. Yet they talk about gals. whole communication talk about how to court gal, swt...

Thx to rhu yann senior. he gives some offer to me hw to show my expression to them. Bore... Long time no c them for long time already. Haiz... Time pass so fast. I hope can go bk hm...

Xenon.bro, suddenly say hi to me. When i intend to chat wit him... No response... Haiz.

just now wit che kwang bro

today quite weird. my stomach dont know why can get use of the emptiness. i mean i dont consume any food yet it still dont fgive any response to me. haha... dont u scare of infected gastric? haha... today lazy go out to eat. so, torture my stomach. sorry.

ryu yann senior, i think got to stop msn wit him. i mean reduce the frequency to disturb him. haha... y? i got bit worry my passion will scare him off.

cant stand of the disire to enjoy the kfc at outside sg.2. so got to walk to there subsequently go to lib 2 to get the info on the pnwang assignment. however, the library closed. why u close? this time i die. the return of the book is this coming week but im at ipoh. how? i hope will open tonight but tonight i got to go wit che kwang bro. i saw wilbur brother at the bus stop. he doesnt greet me again. well, no comment.

start to go the temple ady. this time is the first time he picks me go so far by motor. 1st time got ppl pick me go out of usm so far by motorbike. good memory. when he ride across the slope, i feel quite shy. sorry, im too heavy ady. really sorry. thanks for pick me there. i got chance to learn the practical way to pray. i hate to do the practical part but i got to get use of it.

thanks to che kwang bro bring me here. quite enjoy the moment wit him. he quite care, though quite little moment v two together but thanks to u. haha... this was the 1st time i caught in the rain when ride motorbike. 1st time at usm. i hate this when at ipoh. how bout ur feel? happy... as wit che kwang brother mar. got somebody accompany me. of course feel happy la. somemore my uni life need some excited moment like ryu hann senior said. haha... thanks, i wont forget this moment wit u. chinese calender 1st of august. haha...

yesterday wit wilbur.

violin class is getting tougher and tougher. haiz... sir, dont know y start to emo wit me ady. i mean he sets his expectation to me ady.

thanks to kah mun, help me take something back to ipoh. thanks to kean lin who accompany me eat dinner last night. so surprise that whole block of ivory black out. so, i enjoy the moment wit kean lin at istimewa without any strong lights. however, the food is too slow. tats y kean lin always complain.

finally yesterday i got chance to chat wit wilbur brother. this brother is kinda funny and abit careless this time. he doesnt check whether his hostel's cafe got opened anot yet ask me to go there. when i found out it doesnt open, i feel quite funny. im not upset or wat, just feel funny. v two discuss a lot, self-exposure alot. he shares wit me his problem as well as me too. do i changed? haha... he also can feel that.

one thingy quite touched me is he said want to find out those ppl who cause me change and beat him/her. haha... well, i also dont know who is the culprit but i think right now im ok wit myself.

this week thingy

this one got one thing that i quite happy. tat is i offer my help to celine and pinni on the shot. i feel so happy that i can act. haha... why u so eager to do that? got two reason. 1 is because last time they all got shot, i mean coursemate they all. 2 is i want to do something special. i mean extraordinary, dont want always life at the normal life. want to try something different. hahaha...

how about ur relationship wit ur brothers? xenon wants to meet wit me at last monday but being rejected by me. sunday night the moment he sms wit me, im very excited and happy one. haha... so y u rejected him? is it because he wants to share his company, Great Eastern's policy to u? well, i think no. because i dont know how to face him and i dont want to argue wit him again. so just rejected. bsides tat, i also feel myself so weak. y is me always sms him and ask him out leh? har? haha... dont know la.

ye juan brother ar? haha... as smooth as usual. wilbur bro? no comment. he is always no news one. haha... eric? this brother is busy. dont want to disturb him. che kwang brother? well, im looking forward to the hang out wit him. haha...

yesterday i went to 1st year communication class to present GREEN LUNG. so sucks on the public presentation. haiz... carl, u r doing unethical thingy right? go to get all the communication from dr.zin's email, send to all of them to promote USM freeze? haha... but im glad tat got ppl know.

happy > worry?

I dont know later when i go class, my pessimit thinking will come back anot but now im high. what i mean is just now im very high and happy but now become worry again. sad and sorrow come back to me. carl, u sick ady? well, i think i will go seek for counsellor soon.

carl, pls pls dont go bk to the pessimistic me. must change back to normal. think of UM incident... haha...

just now xenon brother asked me out. should i feel happy? well, i think is i asked him one. not he asked me la. well, reject to him, postpone to october la as i dont know what mode to face him since so many argument and uncorrect judgement between us.

argue wit xenon via sms... haiz. thanks to you two willing to have dinner and supper wit me.

got argument wit xenon bro ady due to tat message. he said i like to 埋怨. at first i deny as i explained tat just i express my feeling to the person tat i close wit. he reply said i should talk to him wit the problem, not 埋怨. well, i use back the knowledge tat i have learned during communication class. dont judge a book's by its cover. i just send sms to u, not face to face, talk verbally wit u. so dont judge me ya. after tat he doesnt reply me ady...

ye juan bro also tired wit me ady. mentally and physically tired. sorry... tonight have dinner wit my exroommate and supper wit kean sam. thanks to u two. else i got to eat myself ady. haha... thanks thanks, really appreciate it.

就算跌到了又有什么关系呢？再站起来就好了。跌到时顺便看一看天空，浩然的蓝空又在微笑着。from< A Litre of Tears>

im sure that my life will gonna change from pessimistic to optimistic. today got class replacementfrom 3-6. first time attend so long class. haha... then follow my fellow coursemates to have dinner. at there my role is to listen what they said, more to be listener then speaker.

finally can take shot. is i offer myself one. carl, u dont know malu ya... haha... well, i just want to enter the screen once for my life and got another reason is i want to follow my male coursemates, all of them got enter screen last year.

at night got sms wit jasmine. she said i very quiet. haha... really? yup, more quiet. long time no sms wit her ady.

tonight is first time i ate supper wit kean sam and his fren. long time no go to ivory ady. how r u, ivory... haha... i plan to ask xenon bro but he not free. got abit beh syok, he said friday meet wit me de but goes to date wit his gf and gf's bro. haiz...

eric, u very busy mar? i want to chat wit u de but u r busy right? so better dont disturb u. scare u mad... haha...

就算跌到了又有什么关系呢？再站起来就好了。跌到时顺便看一看天空，浩然的蓝空又在微笑着。from<>

first time my assignment get CCCCCC!!!!!! kok finish

Wat? C!!! So sad when i get that result. carl, wats the problem of u? C? Tears rolling when wrote this. Yes, i do really sad now. Y u such a failure? Y? Y u always like that one? Lazy, useless... Y can't score well? Y u sucks on build relationship? Y u dont cant b more confident? Alot of Y suddenly pop out and like sword tat stabbing my heart. Carl, Y u always pessimit? Y?

Y they all go kl dont inform me? How come like that one? Y so sucks? Y??? Now i got thinking dont want to go. Haiz...

today i met wit xenon brother. very surprised to c him. He is having meal wit his fren, two gals. can't u have meal wit me when u noticed im alone? Haiz....

Wilbur brother this guy really dont know what he is busy on. I met him after i get the damn C!!! Want to talk wit him but he rushed to the class. Haiz... Next time ba...

Thanks to ye juan, che kwang, xenon, sk brother concern. Lee Hon, keh ping and alot of fren also said something to an wei me. Thanks alot. But i think i really got to rethink about wat is ur life. what u gonna do? how come u like that one? haiz... alot and alot need to think.

finally finish my kok. today very ashamed. all balls seem target to me. haha... but i cant do anything as i really sucks... carl, u r sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! again! haiz....... thanks to hung jin, he drives his new car eat together wit us... finally i can act wild wit them. haha...

090909

thanks to lee hon for eat wit me. at there, i met wit che kwang brother. so surprised to c him. hug him for awhile... he gets shocked... haha...

yesterday now 7 something i was at queensbay mall. together wit nik, nabihah, win and one coursemates. thanks for accompany me go there. v have meal together at the mamak store there. the surroundings quite nice. thanks to nik and nabihah. else, i dont know when will i step there again. haha... now i only realised tat borders is very nice and comfort. inside there got free seat for readers to relax at there. i wish to stay wit u all longer but cannot. got to head back to meeting. leader change the policy ady. one person one post? gosh! watever. thanks to my teammate, she gots car and drive me back to hostel. i quite shameful for not take my bag to the car. sorry to her tat she needs to take my bag back to there. u two, keep it as secret ya. so shameful! at first, i aim to CG have supper as i heard the nasi lemak at there is superb nice. however, when i reached there, it wasnt opened yet. then my teammate pick me back.

today is 090909. should feel quite happy de but this morning quite bad as i not perform well and the string suddenly break. RM 5 gone like that. quite blue. when i was taking the breakfast, i drop my sugar cane water. it worth... rm2!!!hahaha...

during the lecture accountings today due to few ppl come to attend. lecturer said mark attendance and give extra grade for the presentee. well, at that time i felt very happy as all my communication coursemates absent. thanks to shu wen also if she doesnt asked me to take note wher is the exam venue, i think most probably tat i wont go. wait a minute, y u feel happy? haiz... at tat time i even wish that lecture finish faster so tat they all cant get the benefits.... carl, u.... speechless.

today i meet wit wilbur, lee hon brother. quite surprised as wilbur dont know wat happened to him. eat so fast and dissappeared. dont know what does he thinks... both of them i met at CG cafe. haha... this is my direct senior, carl. it sounds very warmth. thanks to my direct junior introduced me to his fren. haha...

today i feel quite unhappy, bored, lonely. mixture of negative feeling. even shu wen also can feel and asked that y today im different? haha... finally got chance to eat nasi lemak at CG. well, quite ok. during tat time, sk give advise to me again... when step to work, i will die if i still behave like that. haiz....

thanks for su theng. 1st time i went there.

yesterday night have nice experience wit su theng seniors in jalan2 cari makan. thanks to her pick to sunshine there enjoy the food at there. 1st time i went there. pity carl, nobody bring u to find the delicious food at penang? haiz... wat to do? nobody got car. even got car, they also dont pick me... haha...

thanks for ur sharing. after graduate, its hard time to find the job. now i only knew that, therefore carl, pls be more optimistic. u got one role model ady. su theng so optimistic, she also felt abit down. carl, how about u? i worry u go suicide leh... haha...

glad to know that nicholas couson wake up from the operation. v add water together ya...

carl: 人，不要像一只，只会在鱼缸里游泳的鱼;要学会成为一只可以游向大海的鱼。

currently at eric v's house. thanks to jessica and eric's mum offer me to online. thanks alot. carl, 人，不要像一只，只会在鱼缸里游泳的鱼;要学会成为一只可以游向大海的鱼。suddenly see this from the cari website there. well, i hope u treat this as lesson. dont sad again, add water(cheryl saod! oil so fat!!!) haha... u must wake up ady. if u still negative, wat anson said is all useless. be more happy, confident. optimism...

suddenly received sms from eric.... warmth...

Take gud k man ! damn busy this month ! got time will share wit u my bad storiesthis sentences received at today early at the morning, 532am. Feel warmth instantly when saw that. Eric, thanks a lot.

Ye juan brother also very nice. Chat wit me last Friday. Offer his bed to me to sit and lie. He and che kwang brother are the only person at uni tat i will self-exposure to them. Worth for me to do tat. During tat moment, I vomit out all my sadness to him. Wat I react during this few weeks. The process I go to c the doctor, psychologist issue…… during the conversation, I also speak out the feeling tat I want to change minor. Friendship problem....

Thanks to both of u. How about Xenon brother? Well, this brother is not dependable for me. After few incidents, I don’t have comment about him. Unequal contribute friendship always exists between me and him. Same as Wilbur brother. Assignment, quiz, test…. Those reason I listen till no feeling. Why I only let xenon to decide the meeting time? Why he always be there wait for him to c me? So, yesterday I send this question to him but he doesn’t reply. Haha… u don’t know how to reply leh? Carl, u are really sucks… since when u will grow up?

This weekend go back to home. Wat is the reason I go back home? Well, at there I feel I being isolated.